Feelings....by-products of thinking

We have become such a feeling-oriented society.  The goal is often to “feel” good and if you aren’t feeling good you are justified in doing anything and/or everything to get that feeling.

We must first have right heart attitudes, beliefs, convictions which in turn influence our feelings.  Feelings are a “symptom” of what is going on in our heart. 

One of the things that the Word teaches us is that right feelings follow right actions.  So, let’s focus on the action of thinking right.  “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Prov 23:7)  Hmmm, that seems pretty straight forward.  Romans 8 also talks about the importance of thinking right in verses 5-6.  

“ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, 

but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 

 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

So, how do we do this.  It is walking by faith.  A moment by moment belief in the character and person of the One who created and saved me.  Let’s get down to the practical side of things.  What are you telling yourself?  Are you regularly engaging in trash talk-telling yourself things that are untrue?  Try meditating on the truth-the gospel, the character of God, His promises.  These are the things that will result in right feelings.

Dying...a new reality

     One of the realities of life with a chronic disease is the reality of death.  As an adult with CF, I thought that I had personally come to terms with this reality.  However, events of the last few months have proven otherwise.

     As a CFer, growing up, my parents did not hide from the fact that the disease I was dealing with would most likely take my life.  At diagnosis, they were told that they would be lucky to see me reach the teen years.  Now at 34, the life expectancy is in the late 30’s (there is a 67 yr old CFer at my clinic-very cool).  So the reality that I would die young is something that I dealt with early on.  My faith plays a huge roll in this.  Although dealing with a fatal disease, I am a firm believer that my days are ordered by my Lord-my life is in His hands-not in CF’s.

     Now to the reality of today.  The last several months have been difficult.  My pft’s have dropped to a new low-35% with already two rounds of IV’s abx and lots of questions.  I have been faced in a whole new way with the reality that my body is dying.  This has been tough.  It has resulted in a lot of questions-some good, like what changes need to be made, do I need to focus more on health maintenance and some not so good, like Lord, why do I get to deal with this, why won’t this just disappear-yes, and some wrong thinking on my part.

     So, I am actively working at changing some of my thinking.  Working through, again, a fear of death; more accurately a fear of all the not so fun things that are likely to precede death. Working through a complete trust in my Lord and that He has in fact not left me alone to deal with this.  Thinking through the reality that a double lung transplant may be closer that what I had even considered.  The reality that I may catch a bug, have to go to the hospital and never come home.

     In working through this I am focusing on the truth of who my God is-the truth of His character-the fact that He is sovereign and that He has not left me to deal with these things without Him.

The Rock

Hear my cry, O God,
listen to my prayer;
from the end of the earth I call to you
when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock
that is higher than I,
for you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the enemy.

Today in Music History

I am off to judge a piano competition, but here are some fun facts for "today in music history".

• 1853 -- Arthur Foote, American composer, teacher, and for 32 years the organist at Boston's first Unitarian Church, is born in Salem, Massachusetts.
• 1887 -- Heitor Villa-Lobos, Brazilian composer and collector of over 1,200 folk songs, is born in Rio de Janeiro.
• 1931 -- French horn virtuoso Barry Tuckwell is born in Melbourne, Australia.
• 1948 -- Birth of English conductor Richard Hickox in Stokenchurch, Buckinghamshire.
• 1950 -- American violinist Eugene Fodor, who shared second prize in the 1974 International Tchaikovsky Violin Contest (no first-place award was given), is born in Turkey Creek, Colorado.
• 1953 -- Just a few weeks short of his 62nd birthday, Sergei Prokofiev dies. The event is overshadowed by the death on the same day of Soviet leader Josef Stalin.

Freedom

I had the privilege of going to the doc yesterday (yes there is a hint of facetiousness) and got some great news. Stop the IV's! Whoohoooooo! It is awesome to be disconnected. I am enjoying the freedom.

Believing in God Proves Beneficial

University of Toronto psychologists reported last year that "believing in God can help block anxiety and minimize stress," their research showcasing "distinct brain differences" between believers and nonbelievers.

A new study released Wednesday by Rush University Medical Center in Chicago took the idea a step further.

In patients diagnosed with clinical depression, "belief in a concerned God can improve response to medical treatment," said the new research, which has been published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

The operative term here is "caring," the researchers said. "The study found that those with strong beliefs in a personal and concerned God were more likely to experience an improvement."

New "Toy"

This is the latest tool that I have the privilege of using. The Dexcom 7 is a continuous glucose monitor that I hope will become a real key in treating my CF-related Diabetes. Just started using it last night, so the journey has begun!

It is Enough

My faith has found a resting place,
Not in device nor creed;
I trust the Ever-living One,
His wounds for me shall plead.

I need no other argument,
I need no other plea;
It is enough that Jesus died,
And that He died for me.

Why am I Sick?

But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” John 4:11

(Wo)Man's Best Friend!

If Music be the Food of Love

After being absent from church for a couple of weeks, it was a blessing to be back playing the piano. What a joy to worship with fellow believers!

I Love You!

The battle is on…..




A mutant Pseudomona that enjoys setting up shop in my lungs.

Is my approach….

“How can I get rid of this thorn?” or “How can I most please my Lord?”

II Corinthians 12: 9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

A Parent’s Heartache….

Gordon Brown, British Prime Minister, was recently open and transparent in an interview about his son who has Cystic Fibrosis. He gives us a glimpse into a parent's struggle when their child has a chronic disease.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1249089/Gordon-Brown-weeps-television-talks-death-Jennifer.html

Acidophilus…can’t live without it

I have found that whenever I go on IV antibiotics it tends to upset the flora balance of my body. One thing I have found that helps is a concentrated strain of acidophilus. So, today required a restocking run to the store.

On a different note, tonight I accessed my port for the first time without assistance. What is that quote “necessity breeds learning” (at least that’s what I remember ☺)? Well nothing like being all alone to give you motivation to learn. Yes, I could have had the nurse come and do it, but it so much more rewarding to be able to be independent and to “do it all by myself!” Thanks hubby for being moral support via Skype.

The value of emotional support….
My brother came out for a couple of days. What a help he was. Just having someone to be here makes me feel safe. He took care of some house stuff for me, chauffeured me around to various commitments, but most of all it was just his quiet presence that brought calm. Thanks bro!

Feb 3

Maiden Voyage…
Ok, ok it does seem a little dramatic. However, this is a first for us as hubby is gone for a while, I am on IV’s and this round is a doosy. There is much to think through in a circumstance like this. Who checks on you-does someone stay or just drop in every now and then. What about meals-I find can handle the dosing side of things, but getting good food and laundry and house upkeep-those are the extras that slip. What info needs to go to whom-contact info, emergency info-is there a list of meds-can my folks get in touch w/ someone here-can that someone get to me easily. Wheww….my brain is spinning just typing these. Thankfully, my church family is ready and willing to step in and do whatever/whenever (the key is that I need to ask). My brother is able to come and stay w/ me for a couple of days….that’s huge! So, we have embarked, we will see what this journey holds. Good thing I know the One that is already in the midst of it and navigating every part!

Feb 2

Stresss…..
Yes that wonderful word. I don’t know that I fully comprehend the role that stress plays on my health. I am finding that it is more than I would like to admit.

As one who is not really "put it all out there" as far as getting rid of stress-I find that I internalize it a lot which in turn results in stressing my body and thus, my health.

I will have to do some thinking on effective ways that I can deal healthily with this.