Thursday, April 29, 2010

Feelings....by-products of thinking

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We have become such a feeling-oriented society.  The goal is often to “feel” good and if you aren’t feeling good you are justified in doing anything and/or everything to get that feeling.

We must first have right heart attitudes, beliefs, convictions which in turn influence our feelings.  Feelings are a “symptom” of what is going on in our heart. 

One of the things that the Word teaches us is that right feelings follow right actions.  So, let’s focus on the action of thinking right.  “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Prov 23:7)  Hmmm, that seems pretty straight forward.  Romans 8 also talks about the importance of thinking right in verses 5-6.  

 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, 
but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 
 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

So, how do we do this.  It is walking by faith.  A moment by moment belief in the character and person of the One who created and saved me.  Let’s get down to the practical side of things.  What are you telling yourself?  Are you regularly engaging in trash talk-telling yourself things that are untrue?  Try meditating on the truth-the gospel, the character of God, His promises.  These are the things that will result in right feelings.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Dying...a new reality

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     One of the realities of life with a chronic disease is the reality of death.  As an adult with CF, I thought that I had personally come to terms with this reality.  However, events of the last few months have proven otherwise.

     As a CFer, growing up, my parents did not hide from the fact that the disease I was dealing with would most likely take my life.  At diagnosis, they were told that they would be lucky to see me reach the teen years.  Now at 34, the life expectancy is in the late 30’s (there is a 67 yr old CFer at my clinic-very cool).  So the reality that I would die young is something that I dealt with early on.  My faith plays a huge roll in this.  Although dealing with a fatal disease, I am a firm believer that my days are ordered by my Lord-my life is in His hands-not in CF’s.

     Now to the reality of today.  The last several months have been difficult.  My pft’s have dropped to a new low-35% with already two rounds of IV’s abx and lots of questions.  I have been faced in a whole new way with the reality that my body is dying.  This has been tough.  It has resulted in a lot of questions-some good, like what changes need to be made, do I need to focus more on health maintenance and some not so good, like Lord, why do I get to deal with this, why won’t this just disappear-yes, and some wrong thinking on my part.

     So, I am actively working at changing some of my thinking.  Working through, again, a fear of death; more accurately a fear of all the not so fun things that are likely to precede death. Working through a complete trust in my Lord and that He has in fact not left me alone to deal with this.  Thinking through the reality that a double lung transplant may be closer that what I had even considered.  The reality that I may catch a bug, have to go to the hospital and never come home.

     In working through this I am focusing on the truth of who my God is-the truth of His character-the fact that He is sovereign and that He has not left me to deal with these things without Him.