My First Night

Written last Wednesday.

Last night was my first night alone since Tiffany’s passing. I miss her. Because I had a dinner appointment with work I didn’t get home till 8:30 so that made the night go quicker.  Honestly, I think the day was worse anticipating the night than the actual night was. It was not a night of emotional breakdowns but rather it was another step in the finality of my life situation that Tiffany is no longer here. How weird it was to drive up to my house at 8:30 p.m. with having not been at the house since I left for work in the morning. I could never do that before if I was going to properly take care of Tiffany these last six months or it would have meant that she would not eat till 9 p.m. My schedule change so far has been one of the biggest changes.  CF took up so much time in our life. It was not something that was despised or to be mad about it, it simply was our life. I also see now that my life choices have to be much more deliberate because before Tiffany’s health would dictate so many of our choices while now my choices are simply dictated but what I choose to do or not do.